It was New Year's, and my amazing friend Jessie and I were planning on going to the beach. As usual, our plans never seem to follow any kind of schedule, so it was a lot of pissing around and getting last minute things done 4 hours before we had intended to arrive at our destination. Next thing I know, my lovely fiance has joined the dream, and we are summoning an ancient Egyptian warrior to protect us. Unfortunately, in order for the entity to be a successful body guard, (meaning that we are impervious to harm) we somehow need to acquire authentic armor. We soon find ourselves in some kind of enormous indoor market, almost like one of those trading companies that has everything. I remember wanting to purchase a lot of really interesting pieces. But apparently shopping isn't on the agenda, because once we located some authentic armor pieces, we stole it. (Note: the armor looked like an old barrel with arm holes in it.) We plopped that armor on our Egyptian friend with a "Here ya go, buddy" and got the hell outta Dodge. It was a rather unusual affair after that, almost running over people in the parking lot in a car that was much too small and full of stuff for us to properly fit inside. Some 3 seconds later, we had arrived at the beach to mingle among the thick and perilous holiday crowds. Here is where the dream takes another dramatic turn. North Korea is attacking us. I know it was North Korea, because the dear prime minister launched a rocket at me. In my haste to escape my tiny vehicle, the rocket missed my body, but snagged on my shirt. I'm thinking, "Hell, I just got blown up", but luckily my Egyptian warrior was in the car too, so I didn't explode after all.
I don't remember much after that, but I didn't die or anything, which is good. Moral of the story is, if you think you're going to get attacked by a communist country, scope out an ancient Egyptian warrior spirit. You'll be fine.
(photo courtesy of someone else)
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